Helping Prepare Your Kids for Volunteer Assignments

Iris Culp, Homeland Programs Director
Many families have talked about orphanages as pseudo “baby homes” and have focused on their own child’s young age, perhaps the first year or so, being spent at an orphanage.  That background can create the perception that there are young, healthy babies that primarily make up the residents of an orphanage.  That is rarely the case and it is helpful to adoptive children to be prepared somewhat for what they may see during a volunteer assignment. 
Typically most children, who reside at orphan care facilities, particularly the non-governmental organizations which are most open to such volunteer efforts, have a disability.  It is helpful to have discussions with your children about volunteering at an orphanage to include who may be there in the orphanage.  Orphanages are often part of a Social Welfare Institute (SWI), which also houses elderly residents and mentally ill patients.  This should also be part of the discussion and can be covered under a larger family preparation discussion to explore society care programs. For example, a family can undertake research to see who typically cares for elderly parents, physically or mentally disabled children in North America and who provides care for such individuals in Asia.  This type of “meta-discussion” can be useful for both adults and children as a family begins preparation for a return visit.
Some children residing at an orphanage may have minor or easily repairable disabilities such as a cleft lip/ palate and adoptive kids may easily recognize that this is a condition that can surgically corrected and the child can lead a typical life.  Plan to have some family discussions about minor and major disabilities prior to trip departure.  It is immensely helpful to allow kids to process and understand the volunteer assignment and the context for the experience.   Allowing kids to volunteer can be highly empowering and may release them from some guilt feelings for “being chosen” and not remaining in an orphanage setting.  
As a parent planning this activity, don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed with the preparations or the need to shield your child from the experience of being sad and realizing a “but there go I” type of feelings.   Stay connected, support them and create an experience that you know will fit the emotional maturity of your child. Plan ahead and have “talk times” on a regular basis regarding your upcoming trip.  Allowing them to assist in the planning and preparation details can be extremely helpful for kids and eliminate some of the powerlessness that occasionally surprises parents as families prepare for a heritage trip.